Do you believe in second chances?
by lileigh760
Summary: It's been almost 5 years since Jude and Tommy have seen each other. What happens when something from their past brings them together again? Will Jude and Tommy continue to live their lives apart or will something tragic bring them back together only to se
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys Adrienne here. I know what you are probably thinking. She is starting a new FF when she hasn't had time to finish the one that she's writing already. Well I just needed something to take my mind off "Can you put the past away" because it was driving me nuts. Funny enough that once I wrote a few chapters of this though, my mind cleared a bit and I wrote a couple chapters for CYPTPA so i'm just going to volley back and forth for which ever FF seems to come to me at the time. I hope you guys like this fic. It is very different than any other IS Fan Fic i've written and I hope you enjoy! I really look forward to your reviews and please be patient because i'm still quite swamped but i'm working on these in my spare time.**

**Adrienne**

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**Chapter 1**

"Mr. Quincy is it true that you will be leaving the music industry permanently." The reporter who was currently interviewing him asked. Tommy sighed and then replied for the millionth time in the past 2 weeks since he'd announced his decision. "Yes, it is true. I've been involved in music in some way or another for the past 14 years. It's time for me to move on to the next stage in my life." He replied. The interviewer looked at him in amusement. "Is part of that next stage your pending marriage to actress Melissa Varland?" She asked. Tommy frowned slightly without thinking and then smiled. "Yes it is. I'm sorry but that is all of the questions I'm going to answer today." Tommy stated. The interviewer and him shook hands and he made his way from the small studio he'd been interviewed at and started the long drive back to his condo.

Tommy Quincy was 30 years old. He had been a solo artist for the past 5 years. When Tommy had first started his solo career he'd been on top of the world. He'd come home from Montana 4 months after he'd left and it had taken another 6 months to get Jude to forgive him and to give him a second chance. A part of him knew that he'd always loved her. Even when she'd been a naïve opinionated hardheaded feisty 15 year old. It had just taken another 2 and a half years for him to admit it to himself and to her. He still remembered the night that they had officially became a couple. It had been one of the best nights of his life.

**Flashback**

"_Damn it Quincy will you drop it please?" Jude shouted at him from her side of the recording studio. Tommy grunted in irritation. "No I won't drop it Jude. I thought you came to the studio to record music not make out with one of your male groupies." He shouted at her angrily. "I'm sorry Tommy I didn't know that you were the only one that was allowed to hook up with "Groupies", but I'll keep that in mind next time." She replied sarcastically. Tommy walked up to her and they were face to face. "There won't be a next time Jude." He growled in a low voice that sent chills up Jude's spine. Not one to back down from a fight Jude only got closer until they were a breath apart. "Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me?" She questioned, knowing that she was asking for trouble. He could see the challenge in her eyes. His eyes turned from the deep passionate blue that they normally were and she could see the dark film of lust in them. He grabbed her by both arms and pulled her up to his lips. "Me" was his reply as he crashed his lips upon hers._

**End Flashback**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"I already know all of the different way things can go if I do it Sadie so can we please drop this and talk about Joey's birthday party?" An exhausted Jude asked her older sister. Sadie sighed and then said "Ok fine Jude, you're an adult and I know that your going to do what you want to anyways but will you just promise me you'll think about? Please?" Sadie Harrison West pleaded with her sister. Jude rolled her eyes. "If it'll make you feel better Sades then yes I'll consider it ok? Now stop worrying or your going to give my niece indigestion." Jude stated pointing at Sadie's large belly. Sadie and Jude both laughed. "Ok so I was thinking we'd just have the party at the park. I know I told Joey that we'd end up going to Disney world this year but you know I just can't this year." Jude said sadly while her eyes filled with tears. Sadie reached over the table and put her hand on Jude's. "I know Jude and I'm sure Joey will love a birthday party at the park. You have nothing to feel guilty about." Sadie reassured her. Jude wiped the tears from her eyes. "I know your right. I just can't help thinking that I'm not giving him a real life lately. I mean ever since we found out, I haven't been able to take him out anywhere. I haven't been able to play with him as much or anything. I just feel like the worst mother." Jude confessed. Sadie looked at Jude sadly. "I'm sorry you feel that way but we both know that little boy has more than most 4 year olds do, he isn't lacking for anything especially your love." Jude looked down. "Your wrong Sadie. He's lacking a father. That is why I have to do this. Do you get that? Especially with the last few months and the next few months, he needs a father and it's time that he got one."

"Joseph Anthony Quincy will you get your little butt in here." Jude stated from the bottom of the stairs. Her son was currently playing cops and robbers with his best friend Eric. Jude hadn't been able to find them in the last half an hour after she'd gotten back and relieved the babysitter. "What mom? I almost killed him." An irritated Joey said as he and Eric came running into the living room. "Stop running in the house guys, and get your stuff ready Eric I have to take you home in a minute. We're already running a half an hour late and your mom's going to kill me if I don't get you home soon." Jude stated while trying to take off the mask and outfit her son had on.

15 minutes later Jude pulled up in front of a nice 2 story house only a few blocks from her own house. She parked the car on the street and released the boys from the backseat and watched as they ran up to the front door of the house. Eric pushed open the door and the two took off into the house. "Mom, dad I'm home." The younger boy shouted running through the house. Jude walked into the living room closing the door behind her.

She heard a noise from the upstairs and glanced that way. She saw her rumpled best friend coming down the stairs and Jude had to cover her mouth to stifle a laugh. "Hey there Kat, not interrupting are we?" Jude questioned still laughing. Kat patted her bed head down and walked into the living room. "No not at all Jude." Kat said with embarrassment in her voice. Jude just smiled. "So is Mr. Andrew's going to be joining us or is this a ladies only get together?" Jude questioned amused. Just as she finished the sentence Jamie came down the stairs buttoning up a shirt. "Jude hi, wow you got here fast." Jamie mumbled to himself more than to her. "I was almost an hour late Jamester but whatever you say." She said laughingly. "Obviously an hour too early by the looks of things here though." Jude replied looking from Mr. Andrew's to Mrs. Andrews. They both blushed. "We were just. Well you know." Kat mumbled under her breath. Jude laughed. "Yeah I bet. Well I'll grab Joey and we'll be out of your hair in a minute ok?" Kat smiled. "Thanks for watching him Jude, we really needed a day to ourselves you know." Jude tried to hide the small look of sadness that overcame her face. "No problem Kat, anytime. See you guys tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews guys. I really appreciate you checking out my new Fan Fic. This one is pretty different. I have the first 7 chapters written up but i'm going to take my time posting till I have more written. Let's just put it this way, the more reviews I get the more inspired I am to write and then the more posts you get. Make sense? Good. Lol so please tell me what you think.**

**Adrienne**

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**Chapter 3**

"Tommykins, I thought you said we were going to a party tonight." Melissa Varland pouted at her fiancé. She was a beautiful woman of 25. She was a former model and currently an actress. She had long chestnut hair and light green eyes. Tommy could see why she was so popular. She was absolutely gorgeous. She wasn't stupid but she definitely lacked in the intelligence department. She could do calculus but dry humor went right over her head. She didn't know how to banter the way **she **did. It wasn't fair to compare the two. He was at another chapter of his life. One that didn't include **her**. Only him and Melissa.

"I know what I said Mel but I'm tired. I've been doing interviews all day and I really just want to stay home and relax. I thought maybe we could watch movies, order in some takeout. What do you think?" Tommy asked Melissa and he inched towards her on the couch. She looked at him as though he had 4 heads. "We made a commitment Tom. I said I'd be there and that's what I'm going to do. You can either come with or stay home and order in that garbage you insist on consuming, either way I'm going to the party." Melissa stated coldly. Tommy just looked at her. "I guess I'll be home eating garbage then honey." He sneered. Melissa walked from the room angrily. Tommy just sat back on the couch and sighed. How did we get here?

**Flashback**

_Tommy and Jude had officially been together for 6 months. It was their 6 month anniversary as a matter of fact. It was 6 months to the day after they had their heated argument in the studio and that steamy kiss which had lead to the most passionate and intense lovemaking he'd ever experienced in his life. Tommy had been planning on surprising Jude with his news that night at dinner. He'd just got signed to Elementz records as a solo artist. Jude knew he'd been trying to get back into it and D had made it clear that Tommy was wanted as a producer there not an artist. So for the past 2 months Tommy had been producing Jude, writing songs, and trying to find someone to sign him. Just the day before he'd met with Alex Varland the owner of Elementz records and signed the paper work. He was officially a solo artist. He was unbelievably excited. This was his big break. He was finally going to be seen as more than just a member of a teeny bopper band. He was going to be a respected musician. He had planned on making dinner at home for Jude that night. She'd been acting funny for the past week and he wanted to have a romantic anniversary at home rather than at a fancy restaurant. Jude would be home any minute and dinner was just about done. She spent the day at Sadie and Kwest's apartment helping them move furniture. They had been together for 2 years and had been married a few weeks before. They'd just gotten home from their honeymoon and needed help getting their apartment ready so Jude always quick to help other's readily volunteered herself and Tommy. Tommy smiled at the thought. So Jude should have been back by now. She'd been helping Kwest and Sadie most of the day, then she had an appointment at 5 and it was now after 6:30. He was starting to get worried. Just then he heard the front door open._

"_Hey girl, where you been?" Tommy asked walking into the living room to meet his girlfriend half way. She leaned up and kissed him hard on the lips. "I love you so much Tommy." She said smiling. Tommy just smiled at her. "What was that for? You haven't even had any of my pasta yet." He said cockily. Jude just smiled and hugged him. "Ok now your starting to worry me. Are you ok?" He asked with a small frown on his face. "I'm fine. I'm great." She replied with a smile. They walked back into the kitchen. "Dinner's done I just have to serve it up." Tommy said with a small smile on his face. "By the way I have some news." He said not looking at her. Jude started setting the table. "I have some news myself Mr. Quincy." Jude said excitement evident in her voice._

_Tommy plated the dinner and then lighted the candles on the table. They sat down and started to eat. "This looks really great Tommy. Thank you for making dinner, your so sweet." Jude said with love in her eyes. Tommy smiled back at her. "Actually I hope you don't get too used to me being able to cook dinner Ms. Harrison." Tommy said with a funny look on his face. "I probably won't have time anymore for awhile." Jude looked at him funny and he saw confusion on her face. "Ok what are you talking about Quincy?" She asked. He could tell she was worried by the way her left eyebrow shot up. "Oh nothing just the fact that I'm now a signed artist for elementz records"! He shouted happily. Jude jumped from her chair. "Oh my gosh baby that's great!" She said launching herself in his arms. "I'm so proud of you." Tommy laughed as he tried to keep a hold on Jude who was running kisses all along his face. _

_"I know I've been waiting for this forever. This is it Jude, this is the beginning of our new life, I can just feel it. I'm just disappointed that we won't see each other much." Tommy stated. Jude looked at him confused. "What do you mean Tommy?" She asked. He wasn't really paying attention to the look on her face. "Oh you know, I'm going to be working on my own album and stuff so I won't be able to help on yours anymore. We'll both be touring and stuff so we won't see much of each other." He said nonchalantly. Jude faced him with anger in her eyes. "Well I don't want our relationship to be affected by the fact that your signed now Tommy." She said irritated. He just sighed annoyed that Jude wasn't happy for him anymore. "Look Jude, our relationship won't be affected much, we just won't see each other for awhile but I'll call and you'll call. We can do it." He said. Jude looked away for a moment. "Actually Tommy that is part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm not going to be going on tour so I'll just come with you on yours, we can spend time together." Jude stated happily._

_Tommy looked at her with a look of horror on his face. "I don't think that is such a good idea Jude." "What do you mean your not going on a tour?" He questioned. "I mean that I'm not going on tour. Why isn't it a good idea for me to go with you? I thought you'd be happy." She questioned. The hurt evident in her voice. "I just mean I love you but this is kind of my thing you know? This will be my first tour as a solo artist and I kind of want to be just that solo." He said trying to be as kind as possible. Jude just stared at him in shock. Here she was thinking about their future and all Tommy was thinking about was Tommy, and Tommy's future. She could see just by the way he had distanced himself that she had no place in his future. Fame had corrupted him in the short time that he'd had it all to himself. Jude looked at him with tears running down her face. "I see. Well you won't have to worry about me getting in the way of your "Solo Tour" Tommy." She stated sadly. Tommy leaned forward and wiped her tears. "I knew you'd see it my way Jude." He replied not catching on. "I do see it your way Tommy. I won't be here when you get back." She stated coldly as she walked from the room with a hand on her stomach. Tommy just stared after her. He didn't go after her and she didn't look back._

**End Flashback**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys I'm so glad that you are liking this new FF of mine. I feel bad to say this but I won't be able to post for a while. I have the first 9 chapters written up but I don't know for sure how much I will be able to get on the computer because i'm on bedrest and I can't get up at all except to go to the bathroom and doctors. So I will try and upload on this old lap top my mom has whenever I can but I usually only get a few minutes at a time to check on stuff before I lose internet connection. I hope you guys understand and I'm sorry to do this to you. Please review I get so much joy from reading them they honestly brighten up my crappy days. Thanks and again sorry.**

**Love,**

**Adrienne**

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**Chapter 4**

"Joey, what did your mom say about jumping on her bed?" Mason asked the small blue eyed brown haired little boy as he continued to jump around singing his own version of "I'm in love with my guitar". Joey just looked at Mason and continued jumping trying to get his mother's attention. Jude groaned in her sleep. "Joey if you have any love for your poor mother you will jump on Mason and go eat pancakes till you can't walk." Jude murmured with her face buried within the pillow. Joey just giggled and plopped down on the bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her. Jude opened her eyes and sighed. She reached over to give him a hug back. He quickly kissed her on the cheek. "I love you mama." He said before racing from the room.

Mason looked down at his best friend and smiled. "That kid is going to be one major heartbreaker." He said on a laugh. Jude laughed with him as she sat up. She'd sat up to fast because a wave of dizziness overcame her and she swayed back and forth. Mason jumped forward and grabbed her by the arm to steady her. "Ok Jude, remember what the doctor told you. Deep breaths and close your eyes and count to ten and the dizziness should pass." Mason said obviously worried. "I know what the damn doctor said Mason." Jude snapped. Mason flinched hurt by her words. Tears filled Jude's eyes. "Oh god Mase I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I said that. I'm just a bitch." She said sadly. Dizziness passing her. Mason leaned over to hug her. "Your not a bitch Jude, your sick. I'd be pretty grumpy too." He said. Jude just wiped her tears. "No, you don't understand. I find myself getting mad over the stupidest things and they make no sense. I'm so afraid that one of these days I'm just going to freak out and say something hurtful to Joey, he already thinks I'm a bad mother." She said clearly upset.

Mason looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you kidding me Jude? That kid worships you. You know what he said to me the other day? I asked him what he wanted to be when he was older and he said a rockstar and I laughed and said oh yeah? Why do you want to be a rockstar? He told me it was because you used to be one and that he wanted to be just like you. So if you ever feel like you're a bad mother you just think about that ok? Joey loves you. He knows that you gave up your career to be a mother and he knows you love me so don't give me that crap about how he thinks you're a bad mother because your not, you're a great mother." Mason said as though he was talking to a disobedient child. Jude smiled. "What would I do without you Mase?" She asked. "You'd actually have to go out with straight men?" He asked jokingly. Jude laughed. "Very true Mason Very true."

Mason made his way down stairs to keep an eye on the tornado that was Joey while Jude took a shower and got dressed. On her way out of the bathroom she walked to her dresser and pulled out some clothes. She glanced up at a picture that was hanging on the wall above her dresser and sighed. It was a picture of her and Tommy a few weeks before her and Tommy had broken up. It was taken at Sadie and Kwest's wedding. They looked so happy and in love. Jude could feel the tears start to form in her eyes and the lump in the back of her throat. She took a deep breath and tried to stop the silent tears from falling to no avail. "How did we get here?" She asked herself.

**Flashback**

_Jude was sitting in the doctor's office waiting for Dr. Miller to come back with her blood work. She'd been getting dizzy really easily lately and just wanted to make sure that she wasn't anemic or anything. It was her 6 month anniversary with Tommy and she wanted to hurry up and get home to him. He'd been planning on cooking her dinner. Jude smiled at the thought. He really was perfect for her. Sure they had their problems like any other couple but when it came down to it they were each other's home base, kept each other grounded. Jude's thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Miller coming into the room._

"_Hi Jude, sorry it took so long we had a little surprise with the test results." He stated with a small smile as he glanced over her chart. Jude started to look nervous. "nothing bad I hope?" She questioned. Dr. Miller smiled. "Well I'm not sure, you tell me." He said with a smile. "Jude your pregnant." He said and watched as her face went from complete shock, to understanding, and then to glowing. "I'm pregnant?" She said with a smile on her face. "Yes, 10 weeks from my calculations." He said watching her smile even wider. This was what he'd gotten into this business for. To see looks like these on his patients faces. Jude placed a hand over her stomach and looked over at her doctor. "Wow I really wasn't expecting this." She said happily. What would Tommy think? How would he take it? They were going to be parents. She could hardly contain her excitement._

_Jude sped home to tell her boyfriend of 6 months that they would be having a baby in a little less than 7 months. She'd made an appointment with Dr. Miller to come in 2 months to find out the sex of the baby and to make sure everything was going well with the pregnancy. _

_Jude pulled up in front of the house that her and Tommy shared and took a deep breath. "Here we go baby." She said holding a hand over her flat stomach. _

_She walked in the door and already saw Tommy coming towards here from the kitchen. "Hey girl, where you been?" he asked worriedly. She couldn't help but smile as She leaned up and kissed him hard on the lips. "I love you so much Tommy." She said smiling. Tommy just smiled at her. "What was that for? You haven't even had any of my pasta yet." He said cockily. Jude just smiled and hugged him. "Ok now your starting to worry me. Are you ok?" He asked with a small frown on his face. "I'm fine. I'm great." She replied with a smile. They walked back into the kitchen. "Dinner's done I just have to serve it up." Tommy said with a small smile on his face. "By the way I have some news." He said not looking at her. Jude started setting the table. "I have some news myself Mr. Quincy." Jude said excitement evident in her voice._

_Tommy plated the dinner and then lighted the candles on the table. They sat down and started to eat. "This looks really great Tommy. Thank you for making dinner, your so sweet." Jude said with love in her eyes. Tommy smiled back at her. "Actually I hope you don't get too used to me being able to cook dinner Ms. Harrison." Tommy said with a funny look on his face. "I probably won't have time anymore for awhile." Jude looked at him funny and he saw confusion on her face. "Ok what are you talking about Quincy?" She asked. She was starting to get scared. She wanted to tell him about their baby but she had a bad feeling. "Oh nothing just the fact that I'm now a signed artist for elementz records"! He shouted happily. Jude jumped from her chair. "Oh my gosh baby that's great!" She said launching herself in his arms. "I'm so proud of you." Here she was thinking negative thoughts and it was something great. She felt like an idiot._

"_I know I've been waiting for this forever. This is it Jude, this is the beginning of our new life, I can just feel it. I'm just disappointed that we won't see each other much." Tommy stated. Jude looked at him confused. "What do you mean Tommy?" She asked. They had to spend time together if they were going to raise a child together._

"_Oh you know, I'm going to be working on my own album and stuff so I won't be able to help on yours anymore. We'll both be touring and stuff so we won't see much of each other." He said nonchalantly. Jude faced him with anger in her eyes. She could feel her heart fall from her chest. What was happening? "Well I don't want our relationship to be affected by the fact that your signed now Tommy." She said irritated. She'd been a signed artist when they were together why should anything change now that he was? He just sighed annoyed that Jude wasn't happy for him anymore. "Look Jude, our relationship won't be affected much, we just won't see each other for awhile but I'll call and you'll call. We can do it." He said. Jude looked away for a moment. This was it. She would tell him about the fact that she was quitting the music business for at least the next year and a half. "Actually Tommy that is part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm not going to be going on tour so I'll just come with you on yours, we can spend time together." Jude stated happily. It was the perfect solution. They'd be together, him, her and their baby._

_Tommy looked at her with a look of horror on his face. "I don't think that is such a good idea Jude." "What do you mean your not going on a tour?" He questioned. "I mean that I'm not going on tour. Why isn't it a good idea for me to go with you? I thought you'd be happy." She questioned. She felt so unwanted. This was the man that loved her, this was her Tommy why was he acting this way? The hurt evident in her voice. "I just mean I love you but this is kind of my thing you know? This will be my first tour as a solo artist and I kind of want to be just that, solo." He said trying to be as kind as possible. Jude just stared at him in shock. Here she was thinking about their future and all Tommy was thinking about was Tommy, and Tommy's future. _

_She could see just by the way he had distanced himself that she had no place in his future. Fame had corrupted him in the short time that he'd had it all to himself. Jude looked at him with tears running down her face. There was no room for her or their baby in his life the way he was planning it. This was it. She never thought it would end but obviously she was wrong. She certainly never thought it would end like this. The sad part was she still loved him and knew she always would. "I see. Well you won't have to worry about me getting in the way of your "Solo Tour" Tommy." She stated sadly. Tommy leaned forward and wiped her tears. "I knew you'd see it my way Jude." He replied not catching on. "I do see it your way Tommy. I won't be here when you get back." She stated coldly as she walked from the room with a hand on her stomach. Tommy just stared after her. He didn't go after her and she didn't look back._

**End Flashback**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"It's always crap on after 6." Tommy muttered under his breath later that night. He'd been trying to find some kind of a good movie on tv after Melissa had left for the party they'd argued about earlier and as of that moment he hadn't had much luck. He brushed a hand through his thick dark hair and sighed deeply. Might as well order a pizza he mused. Tommy walked over towards the phone that was sitting on the counter of the small 2 bedroom apartment that he would soon share with Melissa and picked it up and dialed. He ordered a pepperoni pizza and hung up. He sat back down on the couch to wait for the delivery guy as he drifted off to sleep.

A quiet knockpulled Tommy from the weird dream he was having. A louder knock jolted him awake enough to sit up and answer the door. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 15 minutes after he'd ordered his pizza and was pleasantly surprised. "That was fast." He mumbled as he opened the door. The sight that stood before him shocked him to the point that his mouth opened wide and he could feel his heartbeat quicken. She was standing in the light rain that had begun to fall and he could see her shivering. She had no umbrella over her but was instead holding one over the small boy at her side. The small boy with his eyes.

"Hi Tommy, long time huh?" She questioned nervously. "Yeah, it's been awhile Jude." Was all Tommy could get out before the small boy ran past him and into the house. Jude tried to grab him but he was too quick. He'd already made it to the living room and was about to enter the kitchen when Jude yelled out before thinking. "Joseph Anthony Quincy get your little butt back here right now."

A long audible gasp was heard from Jude who quickly covered her mouth. She looked like a deer caught in headlights. Joey had stopped and turned to come back once his mother had used his full name. He knew she meant business. Tommy just stared at her. He had never felt that amount of shock before. There was the shock of seeing the woman he'd loved after so long. Then there was the unbelievable shock of finding that this small boy who was full of life was a part of him.

He'd helped make him, he'd also had no knowledge of him in the past almost 5 years he'd been in existence. How? Why? Tommy turned to look at the little boy who was shuffling his feet trying to listen but also wanting to play. He reminded him of himself as a child. Always in a hurry to be somewhere. Needing to be doing something, anything. Never wanting to just stand around. How had he changed so much? Since when wasn't his motto "Life is too short so make the most of it?"

Jude's voice shook him from his trance. "Tommy I….I don't even know what to say. I came to tell you but I didn't want you to find out that way. I'm sorry." Jude stated. She was still startled that she'd blurted out something that was so sensitive. She hadn't meant to be so blunt and she definitely hadn't meant to tell him less than a minute after he opened the door.

"I don't know what to say Jude." Tommy said in a low surprisingly calm voice. What did one say when faced with a situation such as this one? "Hey son that I didn't know I had, want some hot chocolate?" He didn't think so. "Why don't you come in Jude, you must be freezing." Tommy stated still seemingly calm. Jude just nodded and followed him into the living room.

Jude looked down at her son who was still shuffling his feet and looking restless. She reached into her purse and pulled out his gameboy and told him to sit in the living room and play with it while she talked to Tommy in the kitchen. Joey smiled gleefully at his favorite possession and took it happily.

Jude followed Tommy into the kitchen and they took their seats at the table. Neither knew what to say, where to start. So Tommy took the first step. "So Jude, why don't you tell me about the son that I've had for the past 5 years and didn't know about?" Tommy stated with an eerily calm voice laced with venom.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"It isn't like I deliberately didn't tell you about him Tommy. It wasn't some evil plan that I had to hurt you. You weren't ready for a child and I had to make a decision. That decision was to keep my child and to raise him with love and in a family environment." Jude said growing passionate about the issue at hand. This was her son, their son. She hadn't told him because he'd been selfish and she didn't want her son to face possible rejection from the man she'd once loved with all of her heart.

"Don't you think that I should have had some kind of say so in this Jude? He's mine too for gods sake!" Tommy said angrily. She kept this from him for almost 5 years and she had the nerve to be angry at him?

"When should I have told you Tommy? In between your first solo tour and second failed marriage? Or maybe when those pictures came out on the Internet of you and that former porn star? How about when you were so shit faced drunk in Italy that you passed out in a woman's rest room?" She shouted at him angrily.

Tommy put his head down. She knew. He always wondered if she knew about the women, and the booze and then eventually the drugs that had shown him that the life of a rock star wasn't for him. It was a lonely life filled with bitter disappointments. "You don't have the right to judge me Jude, you walked out on me remember?" He said with a low voice once again.

Jude laughed bitterly as a small tear fell from her eye. "Do you know why I left Tommy? Did you ever wonder? It was because the day that I found out I was carrying our child, the little boy in that living room, you made it clear to me that you wanted to be a "solo" artist, that you didn't have time for me anymore and I knew you couldn't take care of a child if you didn't even have room in your life for me anymore. So I left, I took my son to Montreal and I tried to get my own life together because I knew I couldn't count on you, you were too selfish to care about anyone but yourself and your rising career. That's why I never told you Tommy, That's why you didn't know." She spat at him. 5 years of regrets, old wounds, and emotional hurt poured from her like blood from a wound. She'd waited so long to tell him what he'd done and now she had. So why didn't she feel better?

Tommy looked at her as the reality of her words hit him full force. He remembered that day. He'd regretted it since the day it had happened. The truth was he was a coward. He had taken the first opportunity to push her away and he'd done a damn good job of it. He knew that what she said was true. He'd made it plain and clear that there was no room in his new life for her and even though he'd lied, there was no way that she would know that because he hadn't gone after her until it had been too late.

"I'm sorry Jude, there isn't anything else I can say to you but that I was an idiot then. I was immature and I thought that I was getting everything I'd been waiting for but what I didn't know is that I had it." Tommy stated mournfully. Jude looked into his eyes and could see the regret, and heartache. It was time for forgiveness. If not for herself then for their son. "I'm sorry too Tommy, I want you to have a relationship with your son, that's why I came, to tell you about him and that he needs a father." She said quietly. She was still debating whether or not to tell him everything but decided against it as she heard a loud noise coming from the living room.

Jude and Tommy both walked quickly towards the living room.

"Who the hell is this?" stated an angry Melissa from the doorway.


	7. Chapter 7

**K so here is Chapter 7 of my fic. I hope you guys enjoy. I'm on a new site called Secret Obsession. I hope you guys join its just like a certain dirty little secret and it's fun. Love**

**Adrienne**

**Chapter 7**

Tommy took a deep breath; he'd been hoping he'd at least have some time to process everything before he had to explain to his fiancée that he had a son. Here went nothing.

"This is Jude, Jude this is Melissa, my fiancée." Tommy stated slowly. Melissa looked at Jude with a flash of jealousy as she sized up her fiancées former lover.

Jude's eyes grew wide as saucers as Tommy introduced Melissa as his fiancée. He really had moved on. A part of Jude couldn't help but be hurt by this information but another part was happy that Joey would have another source of supervision when he came and stayed with Tommy. Jude took in the woman that was marrying her first and only love. She was beautiful, there was no denying it but there was also something cold in this young woman's eyes. Jude instantly disliked her but decided that if she was going to be in her sons life then Jude would have to learn to accept her. "Hi, nice to meet you." Jude stated as kindly as possible as she reached out a hand to shake Melissa's. Melissa looked at her with a face of distaste as she reached her hand out to shake Jude's. She took her hand back quickly and casually wiped it along her pants as though Jude had something that she could catch.

Melissa turned to Tommy and gave him a dirty look. She heard a loud voice from across the room and noticed Joey for the first time as he loudly shouted, "Shit, I almost had him." Jude looked over at him and said "Don't say shit Joey, it's a bad word." Joey looked up from his game for the first time since it had been handed to him and looked guiltily at his mother. "Sorry mom." He said with a small smile. He went back to his game. Melissa took him in and then looked back at Tommy. "Who is this?" She asked pointing over at the boy on the couch.

Tommy took a deep breath trying to brace himself for the reaction that would be anything but good. "That is mine and Jude's son." Tommy stated almost in a whisper. He saw Melissa's eyes widen and then her mouth drop open in shock. He saw her face change from shock, to confusion, then anger as she thought about the fact that her fiancée had a son and she didn't know about it. "So were you planning on telling me before or after the wedding sweetheart?" She stated in an ugly sarcastic voice. Tommy just sighed. He'd known that she wasn't going to take it well but he'd hoped she would at least wait until Jude and Joey had left before she started in on him.

"Can we talk about this later Mel, you know, alone?" Tommy asked tiredly. He'd been up for almost 24 hours and was exhausted. This was a lot to take in, in such a short amount of time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok here is Chapter 8. Thanks for all your kickass reviews guys I really appreciate them. I hope you continue to review your butts off!. Chapter 8**

**Adrienne**

**Chapter 8**

Tommy lied in bed later that night running the past 24 hours through his head. He'd gone from rock star engaged to marry one of the most beautiful and rich women in the world. To father and jackass. He had no idea what to do about the Jude and Joey situation but he did know that he was going to be a part of his son's life even if it was a little late.

Just a few hours earlier he'd gotten into one of the biggest fights him and Melissa had ever had. After Jude and Joey had left to their hotel that they had been staying at, Melissa had raged on and on about how he was keeping secrets from her and that she couldn't marry him if she didn't trust him. He'd let her vent for over an hour before he'd finally had enough and told her that she could trust him and that he'd never lied to her. He hadn't known he'd had a son and she knew when he knew which had happened to be now. She was still pissed when she left that night and told him that they had some things they needed to work out when she got back from her trip. That maybe the time apart would be good for them.

Melissa had a movie shoot coming up in a week and would be flying off to London for the next 3 months. She'd be coming home and visiting every few weeks for a weekend off here and there but for the most part they wouldn't see each other much. They had to communicate by phone. Tommy knew that it probably wasn't the best thing for them to part at such a crucial point in their relationship. Tommy only hoped that the time apart would help him clear his head and help Melissa decide if Tommy was really the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Tommy couldn't believe that he was a father. It hurt him to think back to how he'd acted the night that he'd left Jude leave him. He knew he was being a jackass and he could hardly believe he was the same person. He loved Jude, he always had and always would but he didn't understand why he had treated her as though he could live without her. He didn't know why he was so selfish and mean to her. That was a lie. He knew why he'd done those things to her. He meant to push her away because he was so in love with her that he could actually see them having a future. He knew that if he stayed with her and they continued getting closer he'd end up screwing it up and breaking her heart even more. Especially since he was going to be on tour, he knew there would be girls and drugs and he wouldn't have cheated on Jude but he didn't want to have any temptation so it had been easier to let Jude go without her thinking he'd cheated or lied. It was easier just having her hate him for being a selfish coward.

It had taken Tommy close to 2 years; another failed marriage, and a drug overdose for Tommy to realize that he was in way over his head and that he needed to clean up his act. He'd been almost 30 then and knew that it was time for him to become a grown up. Settle down, have a family. The only problem was that once he'd gotten his life back the one thing that he'd wanted, the thing he'd needed was gone. It was then that it hit him that he'd pushed away the 1 good thing he'd ever had for himself, the one thing that had kept him above it all, Jude.

The object of his affection was currently on the other side of town sitting in a chair on the small balcony of the 19th floor of the hotel she was staying at. Her little boy had tired himself out and was sleeping peacefully in his spider man pajamas, inside the room.

Jude glanced over at her son and smiled a small sad smile. He was so young and innocent when he was sleeping. Time had gone by way too fast. One minute she'd been pregnant, the next she'd had a infant with pneumonia, and then he'd been 3 with a broken arm from jumping from the bed, and then finally he was almost 5 years old and he talked to her as if he was the adult and she the child. Jude chuckled at this thought. She hadn't done it all herself but most of it. She'd raised herself a well-balanced young man. He was so smart and thoughtful. He asked so many questions not to be annoying but because he really wanted to know the answers to them. It hurt her heart to think that he might not remember her someday, so she took pictures constantly and wrote the day, event, and feelings on the back of them. Something for him to look at later and to remember just in case. It would break her heart to think that he would forget something so small as the smell of her perfume, or the way she laughed.

What if she forgot him? What if this sickness spread to her brain and later she didn't even recognize her baby? These were the thoughts that kept her awake at night. The thoughts had become her nightmares. She'd take monsters any day when faced with what cruel horrors life could throw at you at any moment.

Jude walked back into the hotel room and walked to her purse where she kept her pills. She opened the bottle and took out the 2 she needed then closed it. She reached in and picked up the 4 others she would need and put them in her mouth and took them with the water bottle she'd been sipping that night. She put the bottle down and looked up into the mirror above the table and caught the reflection of her pale, gaunt face. She sighed and walked to the bed where Joey was still sleeping peacefully and leaned over to kiss her angel on his forehead. She laid down on her bed and fell into an uneasy restless sleep, knowing that she'd dream not of monsters but of what tomorrow could bring or the fact that she might not wake up.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

A loud intrusive beeping woke Tommy from the uneasy sleep he'd fallen into only hours before. He reached over and shut off his alarm clock and opened one bleary eye to see the time. 9am was pretty late for him these days. Usually he'd be up and onto his second interview by now but not today. Today was the first day of his new life. He had planned on spending it with his fiancée but since she was in London that wasn't going to happen. He'd made plans to meet with Jude that afternoon at the restaurant of her hotel for lunch. They had decided to tell Joey that Tommy was his father and see how he reacted and give him some time to get used to the fact before they decided anything.

Tommy got up from the bed that seemed so big and lonely lately and went to shower and change.

"Mommy wake up." Joey's small childish voice was heard very dimly through Jude's subconscious. She fought to open her eyes but something was holding her back. Joey continued to shake his mother awake growing more and more intent as the minutes dragged on and Jude wouldn't open her eyes. "Mommy please, not again." Joey began to plead with his mother. He knew what to do. He ran over to his mother's purse and pulled out the cell phone that Jude had specifically programmed just incase something like this had happened again. It would definitely benefit Joey this time around. Last time it had happened poor Joey had been terrified and had no clue what to do.

**Flashback**

A barely 4 year old Joey had been having a nightmare about the dinosaur movie he'd been watching earlier that evening when he climbed into bed with this mother. Careful to not wake her, he slid into her bed and pulled the covers up over him and her and curled into her side as she slept on. He laid his small head on her heart and smiled to himself waiting to hear her heartbeat. It was the one thing that his mother would always do when he had a bad dream and it comforted him enough to get him to sleep. This time was different though. The normal thump,thump,thump, that he normally heard was an erratic thump…thump…..thump. Joey sat up from his mothers chest and looked at her pale sleeping face. He reached up and felt her face, she was cold to the touch. He knew something was wrong and he began to cry. He gently shook his mother to wake her up getting rougher and rougher the longer he shook her and she didn't wake. Joey began to sob and sob not knowing what to do for her. He ran to his mother's purse and pulled out her regular cell phone. He'd seen his mother use this thing since he was a baby and knew that if he pushed the right buttons he could talk to someone.

Joey fiddled with the buttons and accidentally hit the green button which took him to previous calls. He hit the green button again and heard the phone dialing and then ringing. At this point he had been quite hysterical. That's what Sadie had heard when she'd answered her phone at 4 am. She'd flown out of bed and rushed to Jude's as fast as she could.

After that ordeal Jude and Sadie had a cell phone specifically designed to call only 911 when something like that happened. It made things a lot easier on Joey and Jude. Jude had been heartbroken the first time it had happened. She didn't want Joey to have to go through that ever again so she'd moved Mason into her apartment. She didn't think about the fact that they wouldn't have Mason with them on their short trip. She'd thought that it would be fine. It wasn't.

**End Flashback**

Joey picked up the cell phone and pushed the button that his mother and aunt had instructed him to and waited for someone to answer.

911 operator: 911 what is your emergency?

Joey pulled out the piece of paper they had given him to read, "My name is Joseph Quincy, I live at 2344 West Plaza Terrace. My mommy has leukemia." He had to sound out the last part in very small steps to get it out. "She won't wake up." He said voice breaking. The woman on the other line of the phone told him to stay where he was and that she was sending an ambulance right away. Joey remembered something his mother had said the night before. "Wait I'm not at home, I'm at the regency room 1904." He said quickly. Proud he'd remembered. The woman said ok and that the ambulance was already on it's way.


	10. Chapter 10

**You guys are probably mad at me for making jude sick lol but it brings emotion to the story and i wanted to show another side of the characters, I hope you enjoy my next post.**

**Adrienne**

**Chapter 10**

As Tommy drove to the hotel Jude and Joey were staying at he went over the events of the night before in his mind. He was a father. Some how when he'd thought of fatherhood he'd always imagined it being with Jude but definitely not like this. They would be married. He'd be a producer/artist and Jude would be a grammy winning artist as well. They'd live in the mountains in Montreal and have their own little studio for writing and recording. Somehow things had managed to be so completely strewn from what he'd made up in his mind. The sad part was that he knew it was his own fault. He'd pushed her away for the last time. He'd known that day as she'd walked out on him that she couldn't do it anymore. He'd seen the fire leave her eyes and it had eaten at him ever since.

Tommy pulled into the parking lot and immediately noticed the ambulance that was parked in front of the double doors of the hotel. The lights were flashing and the doors of the back were open. Tommy jumped out of his car and ran into the lobby as fast as he could. His first thoughts were Joey. Then his thoughts moved on to Jude. He tried to tell himself that he was being paranoid but something in his heart told him that one of them was hurt and he needed to hurry.

He saw the elevator doors open and two paramedics push a gurney with a young woman out of the elevator. At first his mind breathed a sigh of relief because it wasn't Joey, then he realized that Joey was walking behind the gurney with tears pouring down his face as the paramedics worked on and moved Jude at the same time.

His heart stopped. Jude, his Jude was lying lifeless on a gurney while people tried to revive her. What the hell had happened? What was going on? He rushed forward and quickly asked the male paramedic what had happened. The man looked over at him and told him that it was confidential and could only be given to family. Tommy thought quickly then replied. "I'm the father of her son." The man looked over at him and the small boy who was trying to keep up with the paramedics and sighed seeing the resemblance. "Miss Harrison went into shock from the mixture of her meds, she took too many of one kind and not enough of the other.

Normally she'd be alright but with her condition the combination was almost fatal. We have her stabilized but you'll have to talk to the doctor for any more information." He stated quickly. Tommy's eyes darted back and forth from Jude to the paramedic and then a question formed behind his confused eyes. "What condition?" He asked quickly. The paramedic looked at him with sympathy in his eyes "I'm sorry sir, if she hasn't told you it isn't my place. You'll have to talk to her at the hospital." With that they loaded Jude into the back of the ambulance and drove away sirens screaming.

Tommy ran a hand through is hair as he tried to process the fact that the woman he'd loved was on her way to the hospital. He glanced down and saw Joey standing at the reception desk trying to get the receptionists attention. Tommy rushed forward and placed a hand on Joey's shoulder. Joey whirled around with tears still on his face and looked up at Tommy. "My mommy is sick and I don't know what to do." He stated sadly. Tommy bent down on one knee and pulled his son to him and let him cry. Running his hand through Joey's hair he softly shushed and comforted him even though he himself felt as though he would cry at any moment.


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks for the great reviews guys, you rock and I loveeee finding the email saying that I have a new one lol. So please review away. Here is the next chapter! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Adrienne**

**Chapter 11**

"You said she was alright, so why the hell hasn't she woken up yet?" Tommy angrily questioned the doctor that was standing before him with a condescending sneer on his face. Joey and him had been sitting at the hospital for the past 2 hours with no word on Jude's condition and then some snot nosed kid who looked as though he'd gotten his MD out of a cracker jack box came up and told him that he couldn't see her unless he was "family."

Tommy would have punched the guy if his son hadn't been sitting in one of the waiting room chairs staring at him with fear in his eyes. Tommy sighed and walked away from the doctor and sat down next to Joey. They hadn't said much to each other since they'd gotten to the hospital but then again they were both lost in their own worlds filled with fear and un answered questions. Tommy leaned back and opened one eye to look at the small child who sat next to him. He could instantly see the resemblance to himself in the boys hair and mannerisms, but the eyes, they were all Jude. Joey hadn't been to responsive to him but Tommy just figured it was because his mother was in the hospital and he didn't know this man sitting next to him. Tommy couldn't believe how much that thought hurt him, his own son had no idea who he was.

Tommy had managed to track down Kwest and Sadie's number to tell them that Jude was in the hospital in Quebec and that he didn't know what was wrong with her. They said they'd be there as soon as possible. Joey had casually mentioned his uncle Mason and his Uncle Jamie and Aunt Kat and Tommy figured they would probably be notified.

Joey was sitting in the seat with his head down and looked heart broken, so fragile and young. Tommy wanted to just scoop him up and hold him like a baby but he knew that Joey didn't know who he was so he couldn't do that. Tommy took a deep breath not too sure of what he might do but knowing he had to say something.

Tommy reached a hand over and tapped Joey on his shoulder. He glanced up into the kind man next to him with a look of confusion and fear. Tommy smiled a little and decided that his son needed to know who he was and that he was there for him.

"Joey did your mom ever tell you anything about me?" He asked quietly. Joey shook his head and asked "What is your name?" Tommy felt a twinge of hurt as his only son asked his name. "My name is Tommy. Your mother and I used to be very good friends, we worked together." Tommy stated trying to sum up their relationship enough to get the point across that he could be trusted. Joey looked thoughtful for a moment and then said "I remember her talking about a Tommy sometimes when she thought I wasn't listening she'd look at a picture and cry." Tommy instantly felt the guilt creep inside him and filled him with a feeling of disgust at himself.

"Did she ever tell you about me?" Tommy asked silently hoping that Jude gave him something to go from. Joey looked sad "She said that she had loved you a lot a long time ago but that she had to stop loving you to come have me and take care of me." He said in a low whisper. "She said she never regretted me and she never would, I was the best thing that ever happened to her." He finished on a small smile as a tear escaped his small eye.

Tommy had never felt lower than he did as his son told him of how sad Jude had been because he'd been such an idiot. "Joey did she ever tell you about your father?" Tommy asked carefully not wanting to give away too much too soon. Joey thought for a moment and then answered "She said he was a great man who she loved very much but he had to go away and live his life and she had to go away and live hers with me."

Joey said quietly. Tommy took a deep breath and then asked him "Did she ever tell you what he looked like? Or show you a picture?" Joey shook his head. "She never showed me pictures but she said he had pretty eyes and hair just like mine. That I looked just like him with her eyes. She has a picture of him in her room but she doesn't know I know. When she thinks I'm sleeping she'll look at it and cry, I've never seen it though." Was his response.

Tommy decided that he needed to let this small child know that he was his father. He'd gone long enough without one and it wasn't fair. "Joey I want you to talk to you about your dad ok?" He asked hesitantly but Joey just nodded for him to go on. "I'm the Tommy that your mom talks about and I'm the man in the picture that she cries over, I'm your father Joey." He finished looking into the little boys eyes to see his reaction. Joey stared back for awhile at first before throwing his arms around Tommy. Tommy was caught off guard by his reaction but took him in none the less. He held on tightly until Joey started to pull away. He leaned back and looked at Tommy and bit his lip.

Tommy knew it was a trait he'd inherited from his mother. He had a question but was afraid of the answer. "What is it Joey? You can talk to me." He stated understandingly. Joey just looked up at him with new tears forming in his eyes. "Why didn't you want to be my daddy?" He asked tearfully. Tommy's heart broke. Here was his new found son, a boy he'd come to love in the 24 hours he'd known him and he thought that Tommy didn't want to be his daddy. What did he say? What could he say?


	12. Chapter 12

**k so i only have the next chapter typed up right now and i basically broke my arm yesterday so it night be awhile b4 i can type up the next chp. so pkease enjoy this ch. and review. thanks 4 all the really great reviews, i appreciate them sooo much. i changed a couple of the lyrics to "angel of mine" by monica.  
adrienne**

**Chapter 12**

"Look at me kiddo, I know that you don't know everything about me or why I haven't been around but I want you to know that I could never not want to be your daddy ok? I just got lost for a little while but I'm here now Joey, you and your mommy found me and I'm here now ok?" Tommy said as he kneeled down with tears in his eyes to talk to his son. Joey nodded his head in a sad ok and then he let Tommy pull him in for another hug.

Joey and Tommy sat there like that for a while before Sadie and Kwest came in frantically looking for them. Sadie looked over from her place at the nurse's station and then quickly hobbled over as fast as she could towards Tommy with a hand on her lower back and another on her large stomach as she saw them on the floor. "How is she? What happened? Oh baby come here Jojo your ok." She quickly threw out as she kneeled down to pick her nephew up in her arms.

Tommy stepped back to watch the exchange between aunt and nephew. Sadie glanced up as though taking Tommy in for the first time. She gave a slight smile. "Hi Tom." She said as Kwest finally joined them. "T, man it's been a long time." Kwest said lightly. Tommy just smiled. "Too long." Was his only reply.

Jude slowly started to open her eyes, she was fighting the darkness but it had been feeling like the darkness was winning. She struggled for a few more minutes before she carefully opened one eye and then the other. She glanced around the sterile white room and let out a muffled sob as she saw the I.V. and machines that she was hooked up to. What had happened? Where was Joey? Was he ok? Did he need to be taken care of? The thoughts rushed through her mind so quickly that she barely had time to acknowledge them before a doctor came into the room and said "Hi Ms. Harrison, how are you feeling?" He asked in a happy voice. Jude just shook her head. "I'm fine, what happened? Where is my son?" She asked in a worried tone. The doctor put a hand on hers in a comforting gesture. "He's fine, he's out in the hall with his aunt, uncle, and father." Jude's heartbeat quickened when she heard the doctor call Tommy Joey's "Father". He continued on though. "Jude you took too much of your anti coagulant and not enough of your antibiotics, that put you in what we call a mild coma, luckily enough your son found you in time and called 911, you have a very smart boy ms. Harrison, your lucky he called when he did, an hour more and we probably wouldn't have been able to revive you." He stated. Jude's eyes had filled with tears hearing that her baby had had to call 911; he must have been so scared.

The doctor continued on and what she heard next broke her heart. "As it is Jude, it's probably a good thing that you came in when you did, I did an EKG and ran some tests and it looks like the Cancer is getting worse, I'm sorry but if you don't have the surgery in the next month or so I don't see us being able to start the chemo." He said sadly. Jude just put her head down and cried.

"Thank you doctor, can I see my son?" She asked as the tears fell silently down her cheek. The doctor thought for a moment, I tell you what, rest for about 20 more minutes and I'll let him in ok?" He asked nicely. She gave him a slight smile then nodded.

So this was it? She was going to die at 25? It broke her heart that her little boy would barely be able to remember her. What had she done to deserve this? There were so many people out there in the world who didn't want to live, who chose to end their lives, do drugs, or hurt people and here she was asking god to give her more time, more time to teach her son, watch him grow, see him hit his first home run, his first date, prom, graduation, marriage, watch him start a family of his own. She wouldn't get to do this, and it was hurting her more than she thought possible.

She thought about this for the next few minutes until her eyes rested upon a pad of paper and a notebook that one of the nurses had probably left and a thought came. "I'll write Joey a song, a song that he can keep with him and remember me with." She thought. So that's what she did. She sat there for the next hour and wrote a song for her son. It was much harder considering she had to do it acapela but she was determined. She had finally gotten most of it done and started it from the beginning not noticing the man with sad eyes standing in the doorway.

_"Angel Of Mine"_

_When I first saw you I already knew_

_There was something inside of you_

_Something I thought that I would never find_

_Angel of mine_

_I look at you, lookin' at me_

_Now I know why they say the best things are free_

_I'm gonna love you boy for all of time_

_Angel of Mine_

_How you changed my world you'll never know_

_I'm different now, you helped me grow_

_You came into my life sent from above_

_When I lost all hope you showed me love_

_I'm checkin' for ya boy you're right on time_

_Angel of Mine_

_Nothing means more to me than what we share_

_No one in this whole world can ever compare_

_Your angelic smile is still on my mind_

_Angel of Mine_

_What you mean to me you'll never know_

_Deep inside I need to show_

_You came into my life sent from above (Sent from above)_

_When I lost all hope, you showed me love (Boy you showed me love)_

_I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time (Right on Time)_

_Angel of Mine (Angel of mine)_

_I never knew I could feel each moment_

_As if it were new,_

_Every breath that I take_

_I only share it with you (you, you, you,you)_

_When I first saw you I already knew_

_There was something inside of you_

_Something I thought that I would never find_

_Angel of Mine_

_You came into my life sent from above (Came into my life, yeah yeah yeah)_

_When I lost all hope you showed me love (Boy You showed me love, uh huh)_

_I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time (But boy your right on time)_

_Angel of Mine (Angel of mine, oh mine)_

_How you changed my world you'll never know_

_I'm different now, you helped me grow_

_I look at you lookin' at me_

_Now I know why they say the best things are free_

_I'm checkin' for ya, boy you're right on time_

_Angel of Mine_

Tears ran hot and fast down Jude's cheek as she finished the song, her testament of love to the son she loves with all her heart. She heard a small sniffle in the doorway and turned to see Joey standing there with Tommy, tears falling from both of their eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

**So thanks for the reviews guys you rock. I'm glad that so many of you liked it! I'm glad that you thought it was emotional too that was what I was aiming for. So anyways it may be awhile before you get chapter 14 because I have class from 1pm to 9pm and tons of homework and I have to find some time in between classes to write which is difficult with my arm in a sling lol. So thanks again and I hope you enjoy and review chapter 13!**

**Adrienne**

**Chapter 13**

"That was beautiful Jude." Came Tommy's choked reply from the doorway where he held on to a heartbroken 4 year old. Tommy and Jude just stared at each other. Tommy dried his tears as he let go of Joey so that he could run over to Jude. "Mommy, you didn't wake up again and I was scared." Came Joey's scared voice as he ran over and leapt into his mother's arms. "I know baby, I'm sorry." She said against his hair as she hugged him tightly not wanting to let go. They stayed like that for awhile until Jude realized that it was time for her to tell Tommy the real reason she'd come looking for him. He deserved to know the truth, and that he was probably going to have to take care of his son alone.

"Joey honey I'm sure your aunt Sadie is worried, why don't you go tell her everything is all right?" Jude asked trying to give her and Tommy some privacy for what was probably going to be the 2nd hardest conversation she'd ever have. Joey looked at her with renewed energy and said "Ok, but when I come back can we get some ice cream?" He asked with the childhood innocence that she envied. "Sure baby, I'll ask aunt Sadie and uncle Kwest to get some for you ok?" She asked giving her son a small smile. He gave her one last kiss and ran from the room.

Tommy had been standing in the corner of the room quietly watching the two of them with a small sad smile on his face and a heartsick look in his eyes. Once Joey had left the room he walked over and sat down in the chair next to Jude. Jude took a deep breath, she had known this conversation was coming but the truth was she'd secretly hoped in her heart that it wouldn't come down to this, that they'd find a match and she'd have the surgery and she'd be ok. Hearing what the doctor had said finally brought reality crashing down upon her in the worst way. There was a good chance she wouldn't live to see her 26th birthday. The though scared her to death.

Tommy broke the silence as he looked at Jude trying to catch her attention. She'd spaced out and was deep in thought. "You scared me Jude, I had no idea what was happening and neither did Joey, I didn't think I could feel that much blank terror, it isn't a good realization to have." He stated quietly. Jude had known he'd say something eventually but she hadn't expected him to start with that. It took her by surprise. "I'm sorry Tommy, I should have told you what was going on but the truth is I thought I had more time." She stated sadly.

Her words began a slow spinning wheel in his brain, more time for what exactly? She seemed to read his mind because she gave him a small sad smile. "I thought I had more time to tell you about everything, let you get to know Joey before I had to tell you why I waited until now to find you." She said. Tommy looked at her thoughtfully as she just continued on. "The truth is if I didn't tell you, then it didn't feel real, If I didn't say anything then I'd still be a healthy 25 year old rock star, I'd still be able to play with my son, and most of all I'd live to see him grown, with his own family and happy, but the reality is I probably won't and the sooner I accept that then the sooner I can prepare myself and Joey for the fact that if I don't find a bone marrow match in the next month that I'm going to die." She said all of this very quickly and as she reached the end of her confession her voice broke and tears poured down her face. Tommy's blood had long since iced over and was replaced by a cold sensation all throughout his body. She was dying. She was dying. The thought just kept repeating over and over through his head. How could someone so young and full of life be that sick? It wasn't fair. She should have more time, He should have more time with her. Once the thought crossed his mind it shocked him, he'd thought he was over her, he'd thought he'd moved on.

"How long Jude? How long have you known you were sick?" He asked with his head down. He could feel her sadness emanating from her body and he reached a hand over to clasp hers in a comforting gesture. Appreciating the gesture she gave his hand a quick squeeze. "I've known for about 6 months, I went through all the testing and had my family and friends tested to see if they were matches but the truth is I have a very rare blood type and the chances of finding a match are pretty small." She replied softly.


	14. Chapter 14

**colorlimegreenb-This is the last chapter that I have anything written for so it might be some time before I have another chapter. Please be patient and review like crazy. I have college, work, homework, and stuff like that to deal with so i'm pretty busy lately. Thanks-Adrienne/b/color**

**Chapter 14**

**2 days later**

After Jamie, Kat, Mason, Sadie, her dad and Kwest had all come and visited her, Jude was exhausted. She would be leaving the hospital in the morning and couldn't wait. The truth was, she didn't want to be in the hospital with tubes, and machines, and sick people when it was finally her time to "go". Jude wanted to be around her family and friends and spend more time watching Joey laugh, and smile.

Tommy hadn't been at the hospital much lately, he'd come and pick Joey up and drop him off for a while to visit with her but he seemed distracted when he'd come in, and he'd barely acknowledge her presence. She wasn't sure if he was mad, or just taking the fact that he was going to be a single parent to heart. She wasn't sure and she was worried.

Jude had decided to return to Toronto with Joey and Sadie and Kwest. She wanted Tommy and Joey to get to know each other more now that they both knew about each other but she didn't want to be away from her family and friends. Sadie and Kwest had been staying at her hotel with Joey for the past few days and would come to the hospital to pick her up in the morning. She was so thankful to have them in her life, she knew she was blessed but she was having a hard time looking at it that way considering she was dying before she really had a chance to live. She wouldn't have given up Joey for anything in the world but there were so many things she'd never done. She had a list that she'd made on her 18th birthday, it was a list of all the things she wanted to do before she died, the sad fact was that she'd forgotten about the list until it had been too late.

She reached into the journal that Sadie had brought her the day before and quickly glanced through the page of the journal Tommy had given her after they finished "White Lines" and flipped through it until she found the page with her list.

She read through it and saw that out of all the things on it only a few were marked off.

"_Become a rock star" _had a check mark next to it.

"_Win a Grammy" _also had a check mark by it.

Jude smiled, she remembered the day she won her first Grammy, she'd been 18 and had just finished her 3rd album that went multi platinum 3 weeks after it's release. Tommy had of course produced it and they had gone to the Grammies together, it was one of her fondest memories.

"_Bungee jump" _was unmarked

She'd always been afraid of heights but she'd promised herself that at some point in her life she'd do it, she wouldn't be afraid.

"_Travel around the world" _was check marked.

Jude had accomplished this on her 3rd tour right after the Grammies, her and Tommy had traveled all over the world for 3 months before returning to Toronto to start on her 4th album, the 4th album that was never finished she thought sadly.

"_Perform a duet with Tommy" _was unmarked

Jude frowned reading this, they had been scheduled to do a duet but they had broken up before it could happen.

"_Get married" _was unmarked obviously

Jude knew that she'd never marry anyone, it was something she'd accepted after her and Tommy had broken up, he was her one, the only one for her and if it wasn't him, it wouldn't be anyone.

"_Start a family" _was the last thing on the list. It was painful for her that the family she'd started had been with Tommy but not a marriage, it was supposed to go together but she didn't regret it, she only regretted that Tommy and her weren't married when they had Joey, and that they weren't married now.

A quiet knock on the door broke Jude from her thoughts; she glanced up at the door where Tommy stood looking all silent and broody like he did so well. She gave him a small smile and then motioned for him to come in. "Hi Tommy, what brings you here?" She asked with a small smile and a quiet voice.

"We need to talk Jude." Was all he said as he walked further into the room.


	15. Chapter 15

**Wow thanks for all the awesome reviews guys, you rock. You got me over 100 reviews for only 14 chapters which I would have to say is def. new for me lol My first FF only got 41 for all 21 chapters lol. So thanks! Here is chapter 15, enjoy and review.**

**Adrienne**

**Chapter 15**

"Just what every girl wants to hear Quincy" Jude stated with a small sad smile on her lips. Just by looking into Tommy's eyes she could tell it wasn't something bad so therefore she didn't feel too nervous. For some reason though just looking at Tommy made her nervous but not the bad kind, the good kind that you feel when you fall in love for the first time. She pushed the thoughts from her mind and motioned for him to sit down.

Tommy sat down in the chair that she'd motioned to and took a calming breath. How was it that just sitting in a hospital bed not having showered in days or put on makeup she still took his breath away? He pushed the thoughts from his head and leaned towards her and continued on with his decision.

"I've decided to move back to Toronto Jude" was all he said and Jude looked in thought for a moment. "I'm not going to pretend that I'm not happy about your decision Tommy but why?" She asked thoughtfully. He just continued on without breaking stride "Because I need to spend time with my son, I need to get to know him, and I want him to get to know me, but most of all I want to be there for you because I wasn't there for you before and you deserve it, I owe you at least that much." He stated as his eyes became slightly misty for a second.

Jude chuckled as her own eyes filled slightly with unshed tears. "As much as I appreciate that Tommy, don't. Come to Toronto to be with your son but not to take care of me because I won't take your pity or anyone else's, I've handled things pretty much by myself the last 5 years and I'll continue to do so until I can't." She said as her voice broke. She wanted him there, with all of her heart but she didn't want him there out of a sense of duty, she wanted him there because he wanted to be, not because he felt he should.

"You don't have my pity Jude, you have my heart, you've had it since you were 15 and I don't know why the hell I'm telling you this now, 5 years too late but I'm telling you and I hope you can accept it. I'm sorry for what I did to you, no wait let me finish" He stated as she started to interrupt. "I was a jackass for treating you the way that I did, I just thought that if I pushed you away then I couldn't hurt you while I was on tour, that you were better off without me but the truth is I was selfish and I'll spend every day for the rest of my life regretting it." He stated with his eyes never leaving hers.

She didn't know what to say, this was definitely a first for Jude Harrison. She was literally speechless and she couldn't really move either. Here was the man of her dreams, whom she'd loved for 10 years telling her that she had his heart and had, had it since she'd been a young teenager in love. It was the best feeling in the world but also the scariest. She didn't know if she could trust him again after what he'd done to her, but something was telling her to do it, to let him in.

"I don't know what to say to that Tommy, you've never been one to be so straightforward with your feelings and for you to tell me that, I appreciate it but it hurts to think back on what happened" She said pained for a moment. Tommy gently nodded his head. He knew he couldn't expect her to forgive him so quickly but he had to try, for her, for their son, and for him.

"The only reason you get a second chance is because you are my son's father and just so happen to be the love of my life and I want to spend the last few months I have happy." She stated quietly never taking her eyes from his.

The look of absolute surprise and happiness in his eyes shone so brightly and brilliantly that she wondered how she'd gone so long without talking to him. He smiled that smug grin that made her melt and threw his arms around her. "you won't regret this Jude, I swear to you, I'm going to make you and Joey so happy you'll never want me to leave" He stated as he held on tightly. Jude let a silent tear fall from her eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of Tommy" she whispered only for herself to hear.


	16. Chapter 16

******K so here is the deal. I am a fulltime college student, i've been having alot of family problems lately mainly with my parents and then the fact that yesterday morning my brother's dad died very suddenly. I'm trying to be strong and be ther efor my 2 little brothers right now and trying not to miss school while doing my homework and I just started a new class yesterday so I have basically n o time to write but i'm going to do my best. Thank you so much for your awesome reviews they mean so much to me and I hope you guys keep reading, i'll never give up on a fic so please just keep reading and i'll keep posting as often as I can. Thanks**

**Adrienne**

**Chapter 16**

This was it, Tommy thought as he loaded up the last of the boxes he'd been packing for the past 2 days. The end of one chapter of his life and the beginning of the next. Sure he felt bad about what happened with Melissa but it wasn't going to work out even if Jude hadn't come back into his life. They were just too different. She was so determined to be famous and to have a famous husband and a glamorous Hollywood lifestyle and he was the exact opposite. He like Jude, wanted to make great music, have a family, start a life with some one he loved whether they were famous or cleaned houses for a living it didn't matter as long as you were with someone you loved. He just so happened to have been lucky enough that the woman he loved, always loved was beautiful, talented, amazing, dying.

The thought came out before he could stop it. It tormented him as it had every day since he'd found out. How could god be so cruel as to bring Jude and Joey into his life and then to take Jude away? What kind of justice was that? Was it his punishment for being selfish? He thought to himself. It just wasn't fair. Then again life wasn't always fair.

Tommy had been completely shocked when Jude had accepted his apology and agreed to give him a second chance to be in her life. He'd thought he'd be apologizing forever for what he'd done but then again maybe she realized that life was too short to hold on to grudges even ones that had a good reason behind them.

This was Tommy's last day in Quebec and he wasn't the least bit sorry. He was however sorry about the way he'd ended things with Melissa the day before.

**Flashback**

_Tommy mentally berated himself as he dialed the number that had become so familiar in the past 3 years. She would probably be sitting in her dressing room at that moment terrorizing one of her many assistants and making a fashion consultant or two cry. For some reason this thought brought a smile to his face. He chuckled in amusement at the workings of his own mind but they were quickly replaced by a feeling of remorse and a frown as Melissa picked up._

_M: Melissa Varland_

_T: Hey Mel, it's me Tom._

_M: Hey Tom, is this important because I have a dress fitting in 10? She stated slightly annoyed. Tommy took a deep breath, here went nothing._

_T: Actually it's really important._

_Melissa started to get scared, he was using that voice he used when he was getting serious or when something bad had happened._

_M: What is it? Is Daddy alright? She asked quickly_

_T: Your father is fine as far as I know Mel, he said annoyed that the first thing she'd assumed was that her father was hurt._

_M: Then what is it? I'm really busy here Tom, some of us still have to work for a living. She replied snootily reminding Tommy yet again that he was making the right decision._

_T: I actually wanted to do this in person but since you are on the other side of the world and well you are so "busy" I guess I should just get this over with. I'm leaving Mel, I'm going back to Toronto._

_He stated quickly before she could interrupt. He heard silence on the other end. Then a muffled reply._

_M: Why are you moving back there? I thought we agreed that your life there was over and that your new life was in Quebec? She asked._

_T: That was before I knew I had a son, my life is there, not here I'm sorry Melissa._

_Tommy said quietly. His tone of voice said it all, they were over._

_M: Your sorry? Your sorry? You are breaking up with me, your fiancée over the phone 1 hour before I have to go film one of the biggest scenes of my life and all you can say is your sorry? She spat at him venomously. She was beyond pissed and in her eyes had every right to be._

_T: Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this over the phone but the quicker we get this over with the quicker we can both move on with our lives._

_M: It's because of that bitch Jude isn't it? How long have you been cheating on me with that whore? How do you even know the kid is yours? She asked angrily._

_T: I'm done Mel, I'm done fighting and I'm done with you. I really am sorry it ended this way but I'm not sorry it ended, we are way to different and you want to mold me into the perfect house boy and it's not going to happen. He answered equally angry about the way she was talking about Jude._

_M: I'm sorry I ever convinced daddy to give you that recording contract. She said before she could help herself._

_Tommy was shocked into silence. Here he had always thought that he'd gotten lucky by finding someone who really liked his work and wanted to sign him and then he'd thought he'd gotten doubly lucky when he'd met Melissa, how stupid am I? He thought, she had set the whole thing up._

_T: I'm sorry you did too. Was all he said as he hung up the phone._

**End Flashback**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for the kickass reviews, I soo love ya guys lol. I made the chapters for this and DYBISC longer than usual to make up for some of my not so frequent updates. I hope you guys enjoy them and please R&R for me.**

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**Chapter 17**

"Hey Quincy you here to spring me?" Jude asked hopefully as Tommy walked into her hospital room that morning. It felt like she'd been there forever instead of the 3 days she actually had been. She couldn't wait to get home and start to get back to some sense of normalcy. God knew Joey was unbelievably bored and couldn't wait to get home and play with his friends.

"The way you say that makes me think you don't enjoy my company" Dr. Johnson said as he walked into her room with his clipboard in hand. Jude smiled at the doctor and replied "Of course I enjoy your company Dr. Johnson, I was just telling my boyfriend here that we couldn't be together because I was running off with you to Vegas." Jude said casually as though this was the most normal thing in the world. Tommy was staring at the exchange with a quirked brow. "Oh dear that would be wonderful if I wasn't old enough to be your father and my wife didn't have a killer right hook." He stated proudly. Jude just laughed and Tommy could see that Jude and her doctor had become fast friends in the few days she'd been his patient.

"So have you decided yet Jude?" Dr. Johnson asked her after their daily banter, he knew it was a hard decision for her to make but it had to be made non-the less. "Actually yes I have, I've decided that I'm not going to go through with it" she said quietly. It had been very difficult to come up with a decision especially one that meant life or death but she'd done it. She wanted to spend her last days with her family, not on some useless search for a cure that she didn't really believe in.

Tommy was staring at her intently and she could feel his eyes burning a hole in her as she tried to avoid his gaze. She hadn't meant for him to find out this way but now that the cat was out of the bag she didn't really have a choice. "What decision is he talking about Jude?" Tommy stated in a quiet voice his anger was almost completely hidden but Jude caught it. "Nothing Tommy, don't worry about it." She said trying not to make a scene in front of Dr. Johnson. He might have been old but he wasn't stupid he thought to himself and excused himself from the room. He could feel the tension in the room the second he'd asked her the question and wasn't at all sorry, someone needed to talk sense into that girl, she was too young to give up on life and he would do everything he could to have someone make her see it.

"Contrary to popular belief I'm not stupid Jude so cut the crap, what's the doctor talking about?" Tommy stated in a no nonsense tone. Jude bit her lip not wanting to tell him because she knew he'd change her mind. He had that effect on her.

"Dr. Johnson asked me if I wanted to do a nationwide search for a donor match, but I decided I didn't want to do that to myself. I have less than a month to find one and I don't want to spend that month constantly getting my hopes up just to find out that I don't have one, so no, I'm not doing it and don't try to change my mind." She stated calmly though her thoughts were anything but calm. She hoped Tommy hadn't seen through it but chances were he had.

"That has got to be the most selfish thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth Jude." Tommy stated after a moment and Jude was shocked into silence. He was calling her selfish? Wasn't that ironic. "I'm selfish Quincy? Me? You really are one to talk here." She said incredulously. "Yeah, I'm calling you selfish. You see that little boy in there." Tommy said pointing through the window to where Joey was playing with his shoe laces on the floor in the hallway. "You are his world, he won't know what to do when you are gone and here you are saying how you don't want to get your hopes up well guess what? That shouldn't be what your thinking about right now Jude, it should be about how much he loves you and will miss you when your gone, what if just maybe one of those people out there is a match huh? Isn't making him happy worth that? Aren't I?" He said sadly with tears in his throat.

He was right damn it, and that's what killed her. She knew he was right and it just made her feel worse. She was being selfish, she wasn't thinking about her son and that should have been the main thing at the moment, getting better even if there was a small chance of it happening he meant enough for her to try, they both did.

"your right Tommy, I know it. I just hate getting my hopes up then to just die in the end, I have so much left I want to do." She said as her voice broke.

Tommy moved forward and sat on the bed next to her and pulled her in for a hug. He brushed the hair out of her face and wiped her tears. "Look at me Jude" He said as he held her face In his hands. "I'll make you this promise now, if you promise me that you will focus on getting better, and going through with the search I will make you and Joey so happy these next few weeks, and we will do everything you have ever wanted to do, and we will do everything on your list." He said and Jude's mouth dropped open in an o of shock, he knew, how did he know?

"I found it a few nights ago when you were sleeping, I'm sorry I shouldn't have snooped but I'm not sorry I did because now I know what you have always wanted and I'll help you do it, we can spend the next 3 weeks living out your dreams together, me, you and Joey, what do you say?" He asked her with hope in his eyes.

Jude looked into his eyes with her own full of love and fear, here he was offering to help her accomplish her life goals before she died, what would she say?


	18. Chapter 18

**Ah you guys are so awesome. I got like 10 reviews or something for this and that is amazing! I can't believe how many reviews I already have for this and im only on Chapter 18 lol SO thank you soo much for that, i'm way grateful. Your update is about twice the size of the normal updates and so I thought that might be a nice little surprise. I wanted to show Jude's families reaction to her illness because I think it's important and should be covered in the story so here we go. I don't own any of the info on Acute _myeloid leukemia_****and I got it off the web so it's probably wrong. .**

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**Chapter 18**

"Call Dr. Johnson back in here, I'm going to fight Tommy, I'm going to fight."

She did fight, she fought with Tommy. They had been living together in Toronto for only 2 days when they had started fighting. He was constantly around her telling her to "be careful" and to "not pick that up, it is too heavy" or just a "you need to rest." She was going out of her mind. He'd said they would do things, things that she wanted to do before she died damn it and she intended to do them. Joey had been unbelievably excited when Tommy and Jude had informed him that he was going to Disney world for his 5th birthday and it had put a smile on his face for the past day, they'd be leaving in the morning for Florida and even Jude was excited.

Tommy couldn't understand why Jude was so irritated with him. He'd only been trying to help but he could see why she'd be a bit annoyed. He supposed picking her up and carrying her down the stairs had been a bit over dramatic but he was concerned, so sue him.

Dr. Johnson had been ecstatic when Jude had informed him that she'd decided to do the national search and had gotten on the phone immediately to sign her up on the list. Even Darius had gotten involved in the search when Kwest had casually mentioned to his boss that Jude was sick and needed a bone marrow donor or she wouldn't make it. He'd even went as far as arranging a fundraiser for the next week where they would have every person who showed up tested right there on the spot. Things were definitely looking up for Jude but she still couldn't help feeling as though she were running out of time fast.

Sadie was Sadie as usual and had been more than amazing helping out with Joey while Jude and Tommy had tried to get situated in the house after she'd been away for so long. Sadie said her nephew was great practice now that she'd found out her and Kwest would be having twins. She was almost 5 months pregnant and already looked 9 months along. Jude had taunted Sadie by telling her she was either having twins or triplets and had been pleasantly surprised to find out she was right. She'd also insisted that Sadie would be having a girl and she'd been right on that account too, twice. They were having 2 girls. Sadie and Kwest couldn't have been happier. Scared and nervous to be first time parents to 2 instead of 1 but happy nonetheless.

Jude was upstairs in Joey's bedroom packing some things for the trip in the morning while he slept. She walked over to his bed and sat down and gently ran her hand through his brown hair, the brown hair he'd gotten from his daddy. It was so hard for her to believe that he was already going to be five years old. It seemed like just yesterday he'd been a baby. She felt herself getting choked up and made herself get up and walk out of the room with the suitcase packed near the door.

Tommy was sitting at the desk in his bedroom going over reservations, and plans for the next 2 weeks. Him and Jude had been sleeping in separate rooms for now considering neither of them really knew where their relationship lay. He had everything arranged the way he wanted them. Tomorrow Joey, Jude, Sadie, Kwest, and himself would all be going to Disney World. They would spend time going on all the rides that Joey wanted and once he was exhausted they would go back to their hotel rooms and then the next day if Jude was feeling up to it, he'd arranged for her and him to bungee jump off a huge bridge in Florida. He was excited and couldn't wait to surprise Jude with it.

Jude walked from Joey's bedroom into her own and after changing into her nightclothes sad on her bed and got under the covers. She burrowed down into the bed and then flipped on the TV. She was flipping through channels when she saw herself on the screen. Judging from the hair cut she had and the hair color it had to have been from about 9 months ago. She remembered a bit fondly that it had been her last concert. She'd been out of the music business for over 4 years and when Mason had begged her to do it she'd been a little hesitant but she realized that she needed to give one more concert, give a real goodbye to her fans who had supported her for so long. She'd caved and she was happy she had. If she hadn't then she had no idea how long her illness would have gone untreated.

**Flashback**

_Jude was sitting in her dressing room waiting for Sadie to call and tell her that she needed to come home and take care of Joey or to tell her that something was wrong and she needed to come home right away. So she was a little paranoid, who could blame her? This was the longest she'd left Joey in the first 3 years of his life and she was worried. She knew that her worries were completely unfounded and irrational but it didn't stop her from worrying nonetheless. _

_Mason came and let Jude know that she was on in five and Jude thanked him and then went back to her chair and began to massage her temples. For the past few weeks she'd been feeling pretty crappy. She'd had headaches, nausea, and had been so tired that she'd been sleeping most of the day as well as the night. If she didn't know any better she'd have thought she was pregnant. She laughed at the thought, if she was pregnant then it was definitely Immaculate Conception considering she'd never been with anyone but Tommy and they hadn't been together since the night before they had broken up. Before she knew it her five minutes were up and one of the stagehands was barreling through her door and telling her she was on._

_The first 2 songs went off without a hitch, she'd sung "My Immortal" and "Skin" and as she got ready for her next song she'd started to feel a bit dizzy. Not wanting to disappoint her long awaiting fans she continued on through "Temporary Insanity" and "Not standing alone" before she'd developed a cold sweat that dripped down her face. Sure she sweat a lot during a concert but never like this and never cold. Her whole body felt like ice. The band started up with "My Sweet Time" and Jude tried to keep in time with them but for some reason she kept missing her cue. She stumbled over words and her vision went hazy, the lights shone too bright and then faded into darkness as she saw the floor coming up at her and then didn't see anything else._

_Waking up in the hospital for the first time was probably the most terrifying experience she'd had in her life besides the time that Joey had tried to swallow one of her guitar picks. She was disoriented and drowsy and still dizzy so when the doctor told her that she'd fainted and she was running tests, she hadn't reacted to well, especially when the doctor told her that she'd taken blood and hooked her up to an IV lets just say Jude isn't fond of needles and they aren't very fond of her either._

_After a good hour of Sadie screeching on the phone and then Kwest trying to calm his wife down they had finally made it to the hospital. Joey was left at home with Kwest's sister and Sadie was hysterical because she had no idea what was wrong with Jude and she hadn't been able to get a hold of their father._

_The doctor had come and gone a few times during the night and on her final trip to her room Sadie and Kwest were both at her bedside. The doctor didn't have a very happy look on her face and asked them to leave the room. Jude said it was ok, that whatever was wrong with her; she wanted them there for her._

_She'd started getting nervous the second she'd entered the room for the last time, her face was grim and when she asked for Kwest and Sadie to leave the room she knew, she just knew something was wrong, she had absolutely no clue just how bad it was._

"_Ms. Harrison I know no other way to tell you this than to just say it. I'm sorry, you have cancer." The doctor said sadly._

_Cancer, I'm sorry you have cancer. One little sentence could change your life forever and it wasn't fair. That was her only thought as the nice doctor who looked to be about 7 months pregnant told her all about acute myeloid leukemia and the different ways to treat it. Words, they were only words yet they had changed her life forever. How could she only be 24 years old and have cancer? Where was the right in that?_

"_It's fairly treatable in its beginning stages and there is a very high success rate Ms. Harrison. I'm very hopeful and I think if we caught it early enough you can beat this." The pretty brunette doctor that looked barely older than Jude said. She probably just got married a couple years ago, her husband was probably a handsome man who worshiped his wife and would undoubtedly worship his child once he or she was born. Crazy thoughts, Jude knew they were crazy thoughts as she though them but her mind was off on it's own taking pictures of the room so that she would remember this moment for the rest of her life how ever long or short it might be. She hadn't said one word since the doctor had told her she'd had cancer._

_Sadie was sitting in her chair by Jude's bed crying softly into Kwest's chest as he stood there and quietly rocked her._

**Kwest's POV**

_ J__ude was his best friend, his best friend had cancer.__ His best friend who had a small child had cancer. What if she died, no stupid don't think that, but really what if she did? Sadie would die with her; her little sister is everything to her, what if Jude died? Who would tell Joey? What would they do? His thoughts were going through his head so fast that he had no idea how to process them. It was all happening too fast, he didn't know what to say, so he said nothing._

**Sadie's POV**

_Cancer? How could her baby sister have cancer? She was still a baby, no she wasn't but still she was too young to have cancer, who cares if it is a treatable kind, it's still cancer, it's still a disease eating away at her beautiful baby sister. She had a baby herself to take care of, how was she going to do this? What could she possibly do? How do you comfort someone who just heard they might die?_

**Narrative POV**

"_My son, I have to see..my son" Was the one sentence Jude murmured the whole time she'd been hearing the news. If she died she would leave her son an orphan, what would she do? How could she tell her baby she might die? Who would make him smile if she was gone? Who would kiss his scraped knees when he fell down? Chase the monsters from the dark?_

_The doctor told her she would check on the rest of the test results and see the progression of the cancer, where it was exactly and how far it had been going untreated and get back to her._

**End Flashback**

Too long, the cancer had been there too long untreated. That's what the doctor had told her after the rest of the test results. Her only chance was the bone marrow transplant, which she'd had little luck with so far.

Jude switched off the television after losing herself in thought for a while. It wasn't good to dwell on the past, no matter how long ago it was, or how healthy she'd been.

Tears fell silently down her cheek as she heard a small knock at the door and saw Tommy with a sad expression on his face.


	19. Chapter 19

**So i'm just realizing how utterly short this is and i'm sorry but i'm exhausted and I can't write/type right now. My brain has gone into meltdown mode. I appologize for the suckiness of this chapter and the shortness. Still love me:(**

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**Chapter 19**

"I know women get all weepy when they watch lifetime but this is just downright ridiculous." Tommy said with a small sad grin on his face. Jude smiled, appreciating the attempt at humor. "Oh you know us women, you walk into a room and our hearts go all aflutter." She stated good-naturedly. "Seriously Harrison what's going on in that head of yours?" He asked as he walked further into the room. "Oh you know the usual, why me? What did I do to deserve this? How long do I have? Will it be painful? Is there really a heaven? The everyday questions." She replied keeping her eyes on his.

How was he supposed to answer any of these questions? The truth was he asked god those questions every single day. How fair was it that he just got the chance to come back into her life only to face the prospect of losing her when this was all over? It didn't seem fair to him and he'd just joined the game. "It's not fair but its' also not your fault Jude, you didn't do anything to deserve this, sometimes bad things happen to good people, I can't explain it and I can't make sense of it but I just thank god that I get more time to spend trying to make it up to you." He said quite passionately as he sat on Jude's bed and placed her hands in his.

"Your too good to me Tommy, I've been a ass the past few days and I'm sorry. I just can't help feeling that everything is moving in slow motion but my sickness. I'm running out of time." She said frustrated. "I get that, I feel like I'm trying to run a marathon and keep up with you and Joey and it's kind of impossible but I'm getting my bearings, that's what the last couple days has been, the transitional period. I made you a promise Jude, I'm going to do everything in my power to make you happy." He stated as he gently cupped her chin in his hands. Jude could feel the steel in his gaze as his eyes penetrated into her soul. Wondering what was going on in that head of hers. Before either of them even knew what had happened, his lips were on hers.

She felt the heat first; that gut punched feeling that knocked the wind out of her every time. The second thing she felt was the passion, he was the only person that could light a fire in her and calm her at the same time. Underlying most of all was a kind of desperate intensity; it was almost as if he had to be as close to her as possible, his life depended on their contact. Jude turned her head to the side and gently ran her hands through his hair as he gently laid her down back on the bed. He ran a hand up and down the side of her arms as he started to position himself on the side of her.

"Daddy I had a bad dream." Came a sleepy voice from the doorway. Tommy jumped back quickly and Jude sat up trying to straighten out her pajamas. "It's ok kiddo, come here." Tommy said quietly and motioned for Joey to join them in the room. He ran quickly and his little feet padded on the floor, as he jumped into bed and landed in Tommy's lap. He was still dressed in his spider man pajamas and his hair was sticking up in different directions. Tommy smiled and felt his heart lurch as he realized that his son was the spitting image of him. This was the night of new beginnings Tommy thought, the night he got a new outlook on life. It was the night that he fell in love with his son. They were a family now, if it took him every second of every day he was going to find a way to cure Jude, he had to. He thought as he leaned down and placed a small kiss to his son's forehead, he looked down and realized that he'd already fallen back asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**So here is chapter 20. I thought i'd give you guys some lighthearted fun before any drama lol Hope you like it. Let me know.**

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**Chapter 20**

"Touch that French fry and be prepared to be injured." Sadie snapped at her husband who was at the moment looking scared for his life after trying to sneak a fry off of her plate. "Sorry babe, I was just cleaning it off for you." He offered with a small scared smile. Sadie just glared at him and continued on with her 3rd plate of French fries.

Jude chuckled at her hormonal sister and scared brother in law. "Ah how I do not miss those pregnancy hormones." Jude said with a laugh. Sadie shifted her glare to her younger sister and settled back stuffing another 2 fries in her mouth. Kwest laughed but quickly tried to muffle it when Sadie shifted the glare back to him. As a matter of fact the only person Sadie had been remotely nice to during their day at Disney world was Joey who was currently running around the small dining area playing with the small model he'd gotten of one of the rides. Tommy smiled and leaned over to wrap an arm around Jude's shoulders. "So the hormones were bad then?" Tommy asked casually.

Jude and Sadie smiled together knowingly. Kwest just shuddered. "What? It couldn't have been that bad." Tommy stated confused. Jude laughed "Yeah ask Mason about the hormones Quincy." She said with a small evil grin. Kwest's face paled. "On second thought don't." He stated. Jude chuckled "It all started the first day of my 8th month." Jude trailed off going back into her memory.

**Flashback**

_"God I can't find anything to fit Mase!" Jude screeched at her poor male best friend. He was running around trying to find her a pair of pants to wear but none of them were working at the moment. "It's ok Jude, we'll find something, I'm sure you have to have some kind of bigger size in here." He said trying to stay calm. She'd popped up all of a sudden at 6am that morning talking about pregnant yoga and how she needed to fung shuey the house before the baby got there. He'd mildly nodded his head and pretended to know what she was talking about._

_"Are you saying I'm fat?" Jude yelled at the top of her lungs. Quickly going from despair to anger. "Oh no Jude of course not, your not fat your pregnant." He stated trying to calm her. Wrong thing to say he realized. "So are you saying that all pregnant women are fat?" She asked quickly walking towards him. Mason started backing down the hallway as she continued stalking towards him. "No of course not, I just meant that you are bigger because your pregnant, that's all." He said mentally praying that god would show him some mercy. "Oh so that's it? I'm just a big old fatty because I'm pregnant huh? You think I like weighing a ton all of a sudden?" She asked bursting into tears. Mason was completely clueless. He was gay, his people didn't have to worry about pregnancy, it was one of the best advantages he could think of. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, ok stop crying Jude." Jude was having trouble controlling her sobs at that point. "I…can't….Mase.." Jude managed to get out between sobs. "Ow, oh god it hurts." She screamed as she collapsed against him._

**End Flashback**

"67 minutes, 1 epidural and 4 broken fingers later, Joseph Anthony Quincy made his way into the world" Jude finished with a small smile on her face.

"Wait so you broke your fingers? What?" Tommy asked with a confused look. Everyone just laughed. "No I broke 4 of Mason's fingers, which is why he was out of work for 2 months and living with me." She stated with a smile. She liked thinking back to the good times, remembering the good parts of her life. She was blessed, she knew it.

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By 6pm that night Joey was tuckered out, Sadie and Jude were exhausted and Tommy and Kwest were looking forward to getting their women back to the hotel. They were in the car driving towards the hotel when Tommy turned left instead of right and Jude looked at him funny. "Um… Quincy the hotel is that way." She said pointing behind her. Tommy just smiled. "You know how you said you wanted to bungee jump?" He asked with a smirk. Jude squealed. "Oh no, are we really going to do it?" She asked excitedly. "Yep, and were going to do it right now." He said as they pulled up to the building connected to where they would bungee jump.

"You ready to do this Harrison." Tommy asked as the instructor harnessed them in. "Ready as I'll ever be Quincy." Jude stated as she linked her fingers with his. "Good luck guys." The instructor said as he finished with the buckles. Sadie and Kwest were standing back at the railing with Joey nestled on Kwests shoulder asleep.

"Here we go!" The instructor said as he flipped a lever. They were off.

"Oh my god!" Jude screamed as they were catapulted into the air, it was like they were flying. "Open your eyes Jude." Tommy said in her ear, Jude opened them and looked around her, they were hundreds of feet in the air, it was like heaven. Quickly the earth came back up at them and Jude squealed again, this had been one of the best days of her life and she knew she'd never forget it.


	21. Chapter 21

**So I just want to thank you all of you for your support through this horrible thing that happened. I honestly felt like my life was over and not worth living. I had suicidal thoughts because I felt like i was a failure, that I didn't deserve to live because I felt guilty for the death of my baby. I now know that it wasn't necesarily my fault, life happens, bad things happen and i'm not the only one to blame. I need some time to sort out my life and priorities. I'm happy to say that i'm feeling a bit better, I don't cry myself to sleep at night anymore, I don't really sleep much anymore though either. I have been writing my ass off but it's mostly been poetry. I decided to try and get myself started on my fics again though because I want to finish these fics. Anyways thank you for being here and waiting and being patient. I really appreciate it of you. Here is the next chapter. Please tell me what you think of it. Love,  
Adrienne**

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**Chapter 21**

Jude sat backstage, at the fundraiser that Darius had set up for finding her a bone marrow donor applying her make up as Joey ran around the room making Tommy dizzy. "Slow it down there speedy." Tommy said catching him as he spun around 1 last time and fell into him giggling. Jude just smiled as she watched them from her dressing room mirror. Joey had been unbelievably good the past week during their trip to Florida and since they'd been back and Jude had been rehearsing for her performance. Darius had told her that if she'd perform even one song the interest in the fundraiser would go up a considerable amount and there was a better chance of people watching so she'd agreed to sing as many songs as she could without getting weak, what she didn't know was that Tommy knew how many people would watch lil Tommy Q perform for the first time since he'd retired a few months before, so he was going to make a surprise performance, just for Jude.

"Ok baby, time for you to go hangout with uncle Mason while daddy helps me warm up." Jude said to her little boy as his dad picked him up from his feet and hung him upside down. Jude tickled his belly as his shirt fell in front of his face and Jude smiled the biggest smile she could muster as she heard his gentle child giggles. Her heart swelled.

"Do I have to?" Joey whined when Tommy put him back on the ground, right side up and Mason walked into the room. "Oh I see how it is kiddo, see if I sneak you anymore ice cream when your parents aren't watching." He said with a grin, Joey ran at him and leaped into Mason's arms. "I was just kidding uncle Mason, I lovvveee hanging out with you." He laid on the charm thickly. Everyone just laughed. "Wow he gets more and more like you every day Quincy." Jude replied laughing. Tommy just grinned "What can I say, boy knows a good role model when he sees one." He replied cockily. Jude just rolled her eyes.

"Ok kid, scram." Jude said as she gave Joey a smacking kiss and smacked his butt. "Bye mommy, bye daddy, break your leg." Joey's voice drifted in through the door where Mason had carried him out of. Jude laughed at her son's misuse of the saying "break a leg".

"Hey, where were you?" Tommy asked Jude as she continued to space out. "Sorry, I guess it is still sinking in that I might not get to see him grow up." Jude said quietly. Tommy sighed loudly and walked towards her. "Hey, none of that Jude, your going to get better, that's why were here today, were going to get you better." He said as he tilted her chin up towards him and made her look into his eyes.

"I love you for saying that Tommy but you don't know that, you can't. Who knows what is going to happen? I'm just so scared, I'm sad that I might not get to watch him grow up but I'm even more scared of what could happen to him when I'm not here." She said as a tear fell from her eyes. She lifted a hand and tried to quickly wipe it away but to no avail. "I haven't exactly admitted it but I'm scared of dying, I know people say you shouldn't be afraid but I am, they haven't died before, they don't know what its like what if it's horrible?" She rambled on. Tommy grabbed her again and pulled her into a hungry kiss. Jude's whole body froze as Tommy gently nibbled at her bottom lip and caressed her cheek with his hand. He pulled back and looked at Jude who's mouth hung open slightly.

"I want you to know that I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen Jude but your right, no one knows about dying but I'm telling you right now that if it happens, I'll be here. I'll be the one holding your hand, I'll be the one making sure it's beautiful, your going to be fine Jude but in case you aren't I want you to know that your it for me, you and Joey. I'll be here for him even if you aren't and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure he's happy and hopefully you too." Tommy said passionately as Jude stared at him in awe. He was a beautiful man, with a beautiful soul and she couldn't believe how much he'd grown in the last few years. Here was the man she'd fallen in love with, twice.

"I love you Tommy, your it for me too. Thank you for saying that, you have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that, I love you so much." Jude confessed as tears ran freely down her cheeks.

Tommy caught them as they fell "I love you too baby and I meant every word I said, I'll follow you into the dark and bring you back into the light again." He said and gently kissed her on both cheeks.


End file.
